Editing The Amazons

==Premise==
A High Priestess recruits some women to be her bodyguard which upsets the Guardia, the Handmaidens and other priestesses who feel that it is not a woman's job.

==Claude's notes==

This is a rich premise with a lot of natural tension built in from multiple directions at once. Here are some thoughts on how it might develop.

The most compelling angle is probably the High Priestess's motivation, because it defines everything else. Is she doing this out of genuine distrust of the Guardia — perhaps following an assassination attempt or a suspiciously convenient "accident"? Or is it a calculated political move, a way of creating a power base loyal only to her rather than to Illarion as an institution? Or, most interestingly, both — a genuine fear that has also given her a useful opportunity? If she's the sort of ruler Jesenia appears to be, she'd never act from vulnerability alone without turning it into advantage.

The women she recruits are the other crucial question. The most dramatically interesting choice would be to draw them from the Bestia — perhaps Bestia Fiel, women of proven loyalty and capability who have long been overlooked for anything beyond service and pleasure. That immediately creates a double conflict: not only is this seen as unwomanly by the Guardia, but it's seen as a profound violation of the natural order by Handmaidens and lower Priestesses, who find the idea of slaves bearing weapons almost sacrilegious. The Guardia's offence is professional pride; the Handmaidens' offence is theological. Those are very different enemies, and a clever High Priestess might play them against each other.

The story's spine could follow one of the recruits — a Bestia Fiel who is selected almost against her will, or perhaps a younger Sacerdotisa who defects from the Handmaidens' ranks to join the bodyguard, believing she's serving the goddess more purely by protecting Her representative directly. Her perspective lets the reader see all the institutional hostility from the inside.

The Guardia's response is almost certainly not just sulking. If their commander is pragmatic, he'll undermine the bodyguard quietly — denying them good equipment, restricting their access to training grounds, ensuring they're never warned of threats in time to respond. If he's less measured, there's scope for something darker. An arranged failure, where the bodyguard is deliberately left exposed in a dangerous situation to prove a point.

The Handmaidens' opposition would likely work through doctrine — a theological argument that women who take up the sword corrupt the purity of Illarion's female hierarchy, that the sword is the instrument of the expendable, of men. There's rich material in the idea that the religion simultaneously exalts women at the top and treats them as objects at the bottom, and this bodyguard threatens to create a third category that the theology simply has no language for.

The interesting question for the ending is whether the High Priestess wins. She might — but at what cost? Perhaps she's forced to compromise the bodyguard's identity to make it politically acceptable, bringing in some male Guardia officers to nominally command them, hollowing out the very thing she created. Or the story ends with the bodyguard surviving but the woman who most believed in it destroyed by the politics surrounding it. Altierra doesn't feel like a world that rewards idealism cleanly.

There's also a quietly interesting thread available around what these women make of themselves once armed. The Bestia especially — does carrying a weapon begin to change how they think? Does the High Priestess realise, slightly too late, that she's created something she can't entirely control?


[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:In Progress]]